Rapture this, suckers

Spent the day of rapture drinking beer and eating sausages at a local bar. Old fart face still around on the day after, and he has all that money people gave him to console himself with. Doesn't this guy owe everyone on earth $1.99 or something for wasting our time with his phony science fiction drivel? The Bible is a cool book about human life but people should stop using it as an excuse to tell other people how much better than them they are. Jesus is not coming to turn all dead "believers" (I believe they are actually dead, y'know?) into Norman Rockwell zombies, and unfortunately he's not coming to whisk away all the living ones either. I'd gladly take my chances with "The Rapture" if only to get rid of all these gun toting, rich people worshiping, bedroom window peeking, abortion doctor killing right wing hypocrites who call themselves Christians. Christ did not keep company with jerks like that when he actually was around to pick his friends.